First step - identification of a stereotype (stereotypes) - can be performed in various ways.
Since many stereotypes are manifested in human behavior, there is a wonderful exercise - to begin by listing as many stereotypes on paper as possible.
These may be, say, social stereotypes - for example, for a simple handshake it is necessary that one person reaches out, the other answers the same, everyone shakes the other hand, shakes it, and after about a second releases it, after which he usually steps back and that- says something. There are other social stereotypes: the habit of greeting each other, saying goodbye when parting, saying “good morning” in the mornings, etc., the prohibition to interrupt the speaker, the habit of nodding from time to time while listening to someone, matching the words of the speaker with the context of the conversation, the speaker's use of correct grammatical forms.
In addition to general social stereotypes, one can also identify stereotypes characteristic of a given person. These can be certain habitual movements, for example, smoothing hair during stress, drooping posture during depression, unusual mobility during arousal, and the habit of looking away in confusion. This also includes certain types of reactions - for example, the desire to object or the willingness to agree with emotional insecurity, changing the topic of conversation with confusion, shifting the blame to others, ingratiating or overly rational reasoning when sensing a threat. Or rules based on social self-awareness - for example, that a man should never shout at a woman, that you should always be polite and not raise your voice, that you should not make comments that affect / negative / human experiences.
The second stage is / adjustment / to the stereotype.
Once a stereotype is identified, you begin to / adapt to it, becoming the protagonist of this stereotype, in order to provide the appropriate context for the successful application of the method of creating confusion. We proceed from the premise that the main goal of creating confusion is to free a person from a rigid attachment to conscious processes. At the same time, it is worth remembering that confusion will not produce the desired effect on a person who feels that he is being grossly manipulated or trying to deceive him.
Experimenting in various natural social contexts (for example, in a restaurant, airport, or casual conversation), you can quickly make sure that briefly confusing a person is almost not difficult, but it is much more difficult to utilize this confusion in any significant way. Without feeling protected and safe, a person involuntarily detaches himself from the one who caused him such a state to regain a sense of balance to some extent.
If a person feels support, then he will want and will be able to put up with confusion and see what sensual states (for example, hypnotic realities) arise from him. Therefore, the reaction to using this method depends mainly on your attitude and non-verbal influences before, during and after creating confusion.
Getting to the third stage - creating confusion by either interrupting one or another stereotype, or by overloading it.
Interrupt - these are short-term, quick violations of the stereotype, often used before the start of formal guidance in order to cause a person to a sufficient degree of confusion, usually you have to resort to at least several methods of interruption. On the other hand, overload requires a longer exposure, which is often best done during formal guidance.
The fourth step is to increase confusion.
The immediate reaction to a correctly applied method of creating confusion will usually be confusion and uncertainty. This is a natural response that manifests itself in most of us when, for example, we hear from our acquaintance something completely unexpected or incomprehensible. In such a situation, we try to understand what happened, while usually looking at the speaker in search of an explanation. Because the speaker usually apologizes and clarifies what he wanted to say, or looks guilty and embarrassed, the confusion usually wanes. However, when using the method of creating confusion, you quite consistently and meaningfully continue to act in the same spirit, which reinforces the confusion.
The fourth stage is extremely important, because it is precisely the method of creating confusion that differs significantly from not so rare cases when some unintentional statement causes unplanned confusion.
Fifth and final stage - Utilization of confusion as soon as it reaches a visible peak.
It is important to bear in mind that sooner or later, unused confusion will lead to the opposite result, because a person who is at a loss, at some point there is a need for confidence and clarity, otherwise it falls out of context. As mentioned above, it is at this moment that a person is ready to resort to some simplest way to reduce confusion, for example, in response to a simple soft suggestion to plunge into a trance.
Applying these five stages of creating confusion, it is important to understand that they will not always go according to plan, especially when you first try to use them. Sometimes the method will have to be modified or abandoned altogether - it depends on the current human reactions. Nevertheless, any reaction can be disposed of. A person who becomes dissatisfied and begins to get angry can be sincerely apologized. In a person experiencing partial confusion, you can create even more confusion, especially using its various options. A subject who giggles or bursts out laughing can be praised for maintaining a sense of humor and advising him to use this feeling as a way to further strengthen his unconscious reactions.
A little more about the confusion ...
“Immediately answer why the order has not been fulfilled, keep quiet, I ask you. Why do not answer, immediately answer why? Silence! ”And so on several times, and then give the order:“ ... all around, carry out! ”.
Confusion and direct suggestion.
There is a conversation, a rational discussion. Suddenly, in the middle of a conversation, a man stares into his eyes and says: “Honey, are you lost? What book are you from? ”-“ What? ”-“ Yes, you understand, you owe us in life, we owe in life. Give back when you will? ”
A typical bunch: confusion - suggestion, because at the time of confusion a person is open to suggestion.
Confusion often lies at the heart of a joke. A man calls by phone, he is answered: "Where are you calling, we do not have a telephone."
Poet Mikhail SvetlovFor example, there was a big joker. Once, in the middle of the night, he woke up his wife and told her: “Listen, I have long wanted to tell you, our child is not from you.” A few moments of confusion.
Carlsonwho lives on the roof is an inexhaustible source of hypnotic techniques. Confusion, he also used. When he stole the bun, and Frau Frekinbock swung a knocker, he said: "And your milk ran away." "Oh? What? I didn’t put any milk ”, but that’s all.
Here is an example from Moscow and Muscovites by Gilyarovsky:
There was and now there is again the famous Yar restaurant, in which before the revolution the no less famous waiter Yegor worked, who could cheat anyone. And Gilyarovsky describes how he did it. The guest dined, naturally with vodka, everything is as it should be. Yegor began to count with him: “Thirty and thirty rubles. thirty, cigarettes, cigarettes did not deign to ask, two sixty five. "
By the way, according to Gilyarovsky, the word / confuse / it arose exactly like that. Although Ushakov indicated a different origin of the word.
And this is the story of the famous hypnosis specialist M.R.Ginzburg, he is generally a person with a good sense of humor:
I taught at a university, and my wife there gave lectures in the first year, I somehow replaced her. I come, students are sitting, first year. I say: “Hello! First year? ”They say,“ Yes. ” “Twenty-first group?” “Yes.” “The subject is“ the psychology of creativity? ”“ Yes. ” “Is Evgeniya Leonidovna reading?” They say, “Yes.” I say, "This is me." One had to see their faces, one could give any suggestions.
Another story from Professor Ginzburg:
There is a regular exercise in pairs. A woman in a trance, the session ends, she gets out of the trance, opens her eyes and sees that her therapist curls violet purple curls to the shoulders and a clown hat. The man was not too lazy, brought with him, and while she was sitting in a trance, she dressed. When I saw that he had put it on, I specially stood up to see her face when she got out of a trance. It was something. Then she said so: “I would never have believed that in such a short space so many thoughts may flash.”
And again, Carlson is the Great and Terrible:
Remember the episode with two nuts? There were two candied nuts: large and small. And he says: “Baby, choose which one you take? But just remember, the one who takes first takes the small one. The cunning kid says: "No, you take it first." Carlson says, “Good,” grabs a big one and puts it in his mouth. “Carlson, how is it that you took the first one, why did you take the big one?” He says: “Baby, if you took the first one, which one would you take?” “Of course it’s small.” "Well, here you have it."
Confusion - Trance Guidance Method (Milton Model)
Many of our actions are performed according to a specific program repeated by Sonya and thousands of times without changes: greeting, shaking hands, smoking. If this program to tearthen the state will come confusion.
What is a stereotype of behavior? A stereotype of behavior is a certain sequence of actions that is so firmly entrenched in our minds that it practically does not require reflection for reproduction. A stereotype is a set of our automatic reactions to the situation, the words of other people and generally various events in our life. When they reach out to us, we automatically, without hesitation, hold out in return. Handshake is one of the most common automatisms. When the phone rings in the apartment, we pick up the phone and say “Hello.”
Man does not like to be able to confusion and most people will do something reasonable to get out of such situations. Patients in a trance are often told something disconcerting to help them achieve certain goals.
When we receive a business document, we automatically take it and begin to read. If they say hello to us and nod to us, then we also say hello and nod. We no longer notice at all how firmly various automatic reactions have entered our lives. They are the foundation of our successful behavior in everyday life.
If, for one reason or another, the automatic reaction changes, for example, we reach out and we don’t get a response, this causes us a slight psychological shock at the first moment. What does easy psychological shock mean? The fact is that when we produce some kind of automatic reaction, our consciousness is turned off, and our actions are controlled by the subconscious. How does the subconscious mind work? The subconscious mind works on programs, or the algorithms that it contains.
In this sense, the stereotype is just such an algorithm, or program. If our automatic reaction is interrupted due to any changed circumstances, then at this moment the following occurs: the old program no longer works, and the new one is not created.
In order for our consciousness to take on the functions of controlling behavior at this moment, some time is needed. At this moment, the person is in some confusion. Confusion is the result of a lack of control at this point, because the subconscious programs no longer work, and the consciousness has not yet turned on.
When we break the stereotype, we destroy the predicted certainty and thereby remove from the person his usual psychological defense. Thus, we bring it into a state of short-term trance, which in this case always plays the role of protection, formed and fixed in the process of evolution.
When people are confused, they should most likely do one of three things:
- First:to come in at tranceto avoid confusion. When we work together, sometimes two or three of us tell different stories at the same time, in which the words “right” and “left” are repeatedly mentioned in different combinations. Then, after receiving patient reports, we find that often their sensory perception changes (explicit trance behavior) to cope with the appearance of confusion. They say that they hear one of us and don’t hear the other or the other two, or sometimes they don’t hear anyone at all.
- Second:fillspaces or addthe words, which, apparently, allow the shocking statement to become meaningful. Often at the beginning of the trance induction and after turning to the unconscious, we make this type of remark: “And many ask us what the unconscious is, but you know, and we know, and everything is in order. ” The statement is clearly meaningless, but you will be surprised at how many people after the trance feel that we have been discussing the nature of the unconscious and have come to full agreement on this issue.
- Third: many grab hold of the first logical, plausible suggestion that puts them out of a state of confusion. We often confuse the patient, and after that we conduct an immediate therapeutic suggestion, which the patient is inclined to accept.
Indeed, in the animal world, some save their lives by flight, others by falling into a trance. The latter form of behavior, in turn, breaks the stereotype of the aggressor, who acted according to a strictly defined program: the fleeing pursued - the overtaking pursuer. In this case, the program breaks down thanks to an instinctive trance that plunges the victim into a state of motionless stupor. And the pursuing predator thus falls out of the orientation system.
You will cause the same conditions if, for example, you quickly tear a cigarette out of the hand of a smoker while he is going to take a puff.
You drink in the company of friends. A toast has already been pronounced. People brought glasses to their mouths. At that moment you make a sharp cry "Stop!"Or do something else shocking. For at least a second, your buddies will freeze in a motionless pose. At this time, they are immersed in a trance that you caused by your unexpected action.
It's probably clear how confusion can be used for your goals.
By creating confusion, you can simulate a trance state, that is, actually take control of the behavior of your interlocutor at that moment on yourself.
The technique is well known in psychological literature: you are given a hand to shake, you are holding out your hand, but instead of shaking the interlocutor’s hand, take her elbow with both hands, and, for example, say:
“I’m very interested when we can come to an agreement on this issue, how good it is that we now have the same views on this ...”
And after that you finally shake your outstretched hand. What happened? At the moment of confusion that you initiated a violation of the usual procedure (handshake), you took control of the interlocutor’s behavior and made an indirect suggestion about the result of your meeting.
At the moment of confusion, the subconscious of the interlocutor usually rushes in search of a program that you can switch to. And you are just offering this program, encoded in your message.
If everything is done professionally and accurately, then at that moment your indirect suggestion falls into the midst of confusion and becomes one of the subconscious programs. After that, you remove confusion by completing the automatic reaction of your interlocutor in the usual way (in this case, reaching out for a handshake).
The above example illustrates quite well the technology for creating and using confusion in your business practice. Of course, the handshake case is actually a technology that requires some skill, because if you fail, you can put yourself in an awkward position.
At the initial stage, you should use simpler situations to create confusion.
For example, you ask your interlocutor for a pen to write something down, and when he hands it to you, insert a statement that will help you achieve your goals.
“It’s good, Pyotr Ivanovich, that we managed to come to an agreement today ...”
“I’m very interested when you will be able to appreciate the prospects that have opened to us today ...”
There may be various variations. Indirect suggestions you must prepare in advance. Если собеседник пришел к вам, то вы можете предложить ему присесть и, когда он начнет садиться, сказать ему:
«Мне кажется, сегодня у нас будет очень успешная беседа. »
Спектр тех автоматических реакций, которые вы можете использовать для достижения ваших целей, на самом деле очень широк. Of course, this is not only about the common and common automatic reactions.
You can, if observant, use and gestures familiar to the interlocutor, for example: remove a cigarette from the pack, wipe the glasses, straighten the tie. The main thing is that you will have to evaluate how specific this or that reaction is for the person with whom you are communicating.
The technique of creating confusion is especially good for really beloved gestures, because it would not be an exaggeration to say that at the time of these actions a person is in a light trance,
For example, for a pipe lover this is the moment of cleaning and stuffing the pipe with tobacco. For a lover of painting, this is the moment when he comes to his favorite painting.
One of the most important points when breaking a stereotype is to invade it in the very middle, when the conscious processes of the person with whom you are communicating are most muffled and the subconscious is most open and accessible for intervention.
Carefully observe the interlocutor, study his gestures and the set of his automatic reactions, in which case you can really use the technique of breaking stereotypes. When observing the stereotypes of your interlocutor, you can use the following criteria for determining targets for influence: if any signs of trance are observed during the commission of a gesture, this means that you can successfully use this stereotype to make indirect suggestion.
In humans, as a rule, this condition does not last long. - from a second to several seconds, because the consciousness, which at first dived into the depths of the psyche for possible instructions on how to assess the situation and, in accordance with the assessment, choose one or another strategy of behavior, comes back, restores censorship in its rights and critical barriers and allows the subject to realize what happened.
Therefore, the program or suggestion should be laid before the moment of realization, that is, in a short period of trance.
In addition to the described examples, there are more “Soft” forms of pattern interruption, which do not require the use of shock methods.
For example, a change in style in clothes or hairstyle can “puzzle” your partner in the first minutes, and give you a chance to use these minutes.
It is important to strive to ensure that your actions evoke positive emotions. Let these be pleasant surprises than those that can cause a surge of anxiety and force your partner to build protective barriers and choose a tactic of alienation and alertness towards you.
Use in the arsenal of your funds:
- good news (even if you have to compose them)
- mscarlet gifts
- changes from your appearance,
- dramatization (for example, sit together with a partner in the office. A phone rings, and the figurehead informs you on behalf of the director of one of the corporations about the prize awarded to you for your such and such contributions or merits. You hold the phone so that the information communicated cannot remain unheard by those who are sitting next to you.
EXAMPLES OF USING TEMPLATE RIP
So, on the street, near the entrance to the institute, the experimenter unexpectedly stopped a stranger passing by and addressed him with the words: “I have a big request for you (it was said in a tense tone) - take this note, go to the institute, walk past the passage quite calmly , climb the stairs to the fifth floor. There you will see the inscription “Acoustics Laboratory” on the door. Come in, ask Maria Mikhailovna and give her this note. After that, immediately return. Go! ”Three men, without asking anything, completed the task, and only one refused, perplexedly saying that he could not do this, as he was in a hurry. According to the person who received the note and those present at the same time, the people who transmitted it made the impression of automatically acting. ”
“One criminal investigator went to perform one very important task. They prepared to take the criminal in the apartment, but he was not in the apartment. There was no telephone in the apartment. My friend had to leave the house in order to call from the machine. In the glass of a telephone box, he saw a reflection of a criminal coming up behind him. There was no time for thought. And he did the only thing that could be done in this situation - he suddenly turned around and said: “Give me two pennies!” - “Now,” he answered. This second confusion was enough to disarm him.
One of my friends rode a train from one city to another for a very long time. And at one of the stops, he got off the train, went into the buffet in order to buy something to eat. The buffet was a long queue. But the train will not wait, but I want to eat. And then he comes out of the queue, holds out the money, the queue begins to be indignant, and he very sincerely answers: “Sorry, I just walked over. "
When working with smokers, some psychotherapists also use pattern breaks. They give the patient instructions to show how he is lighting, and when the person did everything, put a cigarette in his mouth and got ready to light it - they suddenly take a cigarette from him and give another program of behavior.
If you think that in business communication it will not always be convenient for you to grab a partner by the sleeve to interrupt any of his templates, you can defend yourself with a quote - tell us about how you were at the seminar: “And he came up to me and did this So. ". This is also a good reception, because you are relieving yourself of responsibility for failure. This is not you doing it, the workshop leader did it. Or you can talk about how in one film a hypnotist approached a person, raised his hand and said: “Now go into a trance!” In everyday life, by the way, breaking patterns is easier than at a seminar.
If you are interested in the technique of confusion and you want to try it out, we would suggest that you do this. The next time your phone rings, pick up the phone and say, “Hello! Is John at home? ”It is very likely that a long pause will follow, as the caller will be in a trance state.